Like many Americans I stayed up into the early morning hours on Wednesday to see with my own two eyes the crowning of Donald Trump as President-Elect of the United States of America. When I did finally get to bed I had some of the most curious dreams ever. Upon waking I did my best to recall what I’d dreamt and attempted to write it all down. I believe I was given some insight or vision, allowing me to see parts of our collective future. It was either that, or the consequences of an over-indulgence of leftover Halloween candy waiting for election results. In any case, a glimpse into our future….
1. It will be discovered that Donald Trump had some “inside information” a couple of weeks ago when proclaiming this presidential election had already been “fixed”.
2. On January 19, 2017, security staff at the White House are surprised when large trucks roll through the gates with a work order to install 30 ft. flashing gold and silver neon letters spelling “TRUMP PALACE” on the roof. In describing the esthetics of the Vegas-style sign, the President Elect sets some kind of record by using the word “great” 27 times.
3. Upon learning of Hillary Clinton blowing a double-digit lead in the last week of the campaign to a 70-year-old orange-haired former TV reality show star, Inventor of the Internet Albert Gore Jr. angrily revokes Hillary’s email privileges for the rest of her life.
4. Among the first calls of congratulation to President-elect Trump is from former President Bill Clinton. While wishing Trump well, Bill whispers a “thank you” to Trump for saving him from “four years of being called the “First Man” and avoiding having his dating style cramped by moving back into the White House with Hillary.
5. Trump makes his next billion dollars collecting the burkas confiscated from muslim women deported by the US and selling them at a profit to every American woman who isn’t a “10”.
6. Following inauguration, the over and under is set at 10 months for Trump, bored and tired of being “answerable”, leaving the US for a prolonged 36-month global vacation.
7. Reality Television, now redundant, fades into the sunset.
8. Now without O’Bama or Clinton to blame for all the world’s ills, Shawn Hannity suddenly leaves his Fox News rant show to open a wall-building business on the Mexican border with Arizona.
9. Trump bus buddy Billy Bush becomes White House Press Secretary. He later becomes wealthy inventing Kevlar-armored women’s underwear, and upon early retirement is succeeded as Press Secretary by Roger Ailes.
10. Having figured out they’ve been duped by The Donald, Trump supporters riot and burn down large chunks of the US. Seeing a business opportunity President Trump declares the entire country a total fire loss, files Chapter 11 bankruptcy on the entire country, uses the lost Gross National Product as a tax write-off, and with the proceeds moves to Europe and purchases Monaco.
Meca Leca Hi Meca Hiney Ho….